


I'll hold you right

by Sacirin



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dancing, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 04:25:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14512497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sacirin/pseuds/Sacirin
Summary: As Dan is 'putting himself out there more', Phil gets insecure about their relationship and his own role in it.Set at the beginning of 2018, in the time of a day.





	I'll hold you right

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published fic, and English is not my first language, so spare me please.
> 
> Hope you like it ;)

Phil opens his eyes slowly, greeted by morning sunlight through the curtain, and the smell of his boyfriend against him. He tilts his head down to take everything in properly. He feels nice in moments like this, when he can look at Dan still asleep and innocent. But moments like this make his mind a mess, because lately Phil has been feeling insecure. Insecure about Dan, about their relationship, and about his place in it. Their second tour is coming up, which would sure be stressing enough to even stress them out weeks way before it starts too. Since the whole thing of 2017 Dan had been progressively feeling better, more confident, happier in general. Which was great indeed. But now Dan was growing more popular, even among their own fans. Heck, he even met the prince! And Phil can't help but think that Dan may not want him anymore, may think he's too good to be with him, too handsome, too popular. Phil fears that one day Dan would prefer to be famous over being the nerdy, sincere, introvert he fell in love with. Phil fears Dan would not want to be held in his arms anymore.

So it's in moments like this when Phil can feel nice, when Dan looks happy in his arms and content with life, clinging onto him like a child to his teddy. Their bare skin is slightly moist and smell of the fun they had last night. A heavenly scent that's a mix of salt, spice and Dan's unique soft musk. Maybe it's a bit gross, but Phil buries his face in Dan's chocolate curls to take it all in.

Phil is holding Dan with both arms around his torso, pulling him so he can rest his head on his pale chest. Dan is soundly asleep laying on his side, one arm folded across Phil's diaphragm, and long legs threaded loosely. He looks vulnerable but safe in Phil's arms. Phil feels empowered and responsible for the younger man's safety and wellbeing, and he couldn't be happier to obligue. He places soft kisses on Dan's forehead and witnesses the blissful awakening of a butterfly. Dan groans and elicits sounds between yawns and whines, stretching his ridiculously long limbs out in different directions, and punching Phil on the nose.

“Ow!” he giggles.

“Hm?- Oh, sorry.” he sighs. He looks up at him, mid yawn, and smiles warmly recalling the last few hours. He stretches his neck upwards to give his boyfriend some morning pecks.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” Phil speaks low.

“Wait, not so fast. This is probably the first time you've woken up before me. Don't lie, twat.”

“Shut up and get off me. Let's go get breakfast, I'm starving.”

“Don't try to play it off, you cereal gremlin.” he mocks disapproval. “Well, actually I'm hungry too.” he finally sits up with one last smooch.

 

After a busy morning of editing and answering tour related emails, they use lunch as an excuse to relax on the lounge sofa and watch Netfix.

“I'm coming! Make room for me!” Phil shouts from the kitchen.

“I ain't moving, fat ass!” Dan is laying down, his tall body stretched over the entire sofa.

“Then hold me, please.” Phil responds, already laying back on him. Dan mumbles in protest until they find a comfortable position. Phil is a little shorter that him now, so he fits settled on his sturdy torso. Even though he's a 31 year old man, he's pretty easy to hold, and actually likes it. Plus, Phil with his glasses and bright pj's is so domestic that Dan could get used to it. Dan likes holding him by the hips, wide and characteristically round. And after some time it turns out it's more comfortable than he thought, this way of closeness. And it seems Phil likes to be held like this, using Dan as a bed, because he dozes off towards the middle of the movie, even if he claims otherwise.

 

Dan nudges the body on top of him, making him stir and turn around in the spot.

“Wha...” he mumbles lazily.

“You fell asleep. Again.” as he gets no response, he tries to push the weight off of him. “Roll off, you lazy. You're so heavy that you're squeezing the air out of me.”

“Just five more minutes.” Phil whines.

“C'mon, if you stay here anymore I'll choke.”

“You know you like it.” Phil teases him jokingly as he twists around and steps on the floor.

“I hate you.” Dan laughs.

Phil has already walked in the kitchen and shouts back “Do you want some coffee, honey?”

“Coffee in the afternoon? Are you crazy? Well, in that case I'm not the one to complain.”

A few minutes later Phil comes back in the room with two sweet steaming mugs “Let's play some Mario Kart?” he suggests.

“Coffee and games. Did you have all this planned?”

“Don't know. Maybe coffee, games and Dan are the things that make me happy.”

Dan giggles and stands to turn on the Switch and grab the controllers.

“Shotgun the sofa!” Phil flops on the best spot.

“Oh, come on! That's not fair!”

“Who made the rules?”

“Actually you make them up as you want.”

“Oh, sue me.” Phil acts defensive, throwing his hands in the air.

“Eggroll.” he intends to sound offensive “At least let me sit here.” he sits cross legged on the floor in front of him. He comfortably sits back in between Phil's strong legs. “Prepare to get your ass beaten, Lester.” he says as the screen turns to the game's settings.

“Wait for me.” Phil scoots forward to the edge of the seat, enveloping the other man with his limbs.

 

A bunch of races, and a load of curses later, Phil actually got his ass kicked.

The older man has been leaning little by little on his boyfriend, resting his chin on the top of his head, and eventually he got distracted playing with the curls.

“Are you even trying anymore? Do you want to stop?”

“Hm, your hair is particularly soft and fluffy today.”

“Are you going to start grooming me like a chimp?”

“It's just so pretty!” he presses on “Are those hair ties?” he points to the elastic bands on the messy coffee table.

“Um, I think so.” Dan picks them up. “Louise must have left them here when she came last time. Remember to give them back to her.”

“I honestly don't think she's noticed.”

“Well, anyway- Wait, what- What are you doing, Phil!?” he whimpers at the rough pulls in his hair.

“Sorry.”

“You are the least delicate person in the world! Stop pulling out my scalp!”

“Sorry, I'm not a hairdresser.” he tries to be more shoothing. “You've got a lot of knots.”

Phil threads his fingers inside it and plays with his curls, as Dan relaxes, almost purring beneath his hands.

“Do you like this?” he says softly, grabbing the hair ties.

“Mm, i-it's, nice... I guess.” he feels so cozy that the last words are lost in the air coming out of his lungs.

Phil proceeds to take individual strands and tie them up. When he finishes decorating the top of his head he pets Dan's shoulders “Ok, done.”

The latter hums lightly, and opens his eyes which he hadn't realized he had closed “-Wait.”

“Yes?”

“Are you going to leave me like this?” he waves his hands in the general direction of his hair. “I look like a clown.”

“You are lovely anyway.” Phil chides kissing the top of his head.

“Oh, c'mon, Phil.” he protests.

“What?”

“At least give me a propper kiss.” he tilts his head backwards to meet him at a weird angle. Phil obliges and kisses him right, smiling into it. “Now, let's get some stuff done.”

 

That evening they decide to do some work and film a gaming video. Dan almost forgot to take the hair ties off before starting, which was cute, but would make their fanbase freak out majorly.

Gaming videos always involved Dan screeching pterodactylly and loosing his shit. Phil was used to it, but it just felt like the cherry on top of his insecurity sundae.

Dan after recording was always bright and loud, whereas Phil is feeling queasy and tries to slow him down and make him listen.

“Hey, do you want to play some music?” Phil says from the lounge before Dan heads to the bedroom.

“Ahm- yeah. Sure.”

Phil lowers his gaze and worries his lip as he turns to pick up his phone and choose a song.

“Are you okay? Is anything wrong?”

“No- I just- thought-. It's been forever since we danced a little together.” his face doesn't match the excitement he was going for.

“Sure?” Dan presses on, now growing concerned.

“Yes.” Phil does manage to pull on a half smile.

The music starts playing, filling the room with floating accords of guitar and a gentle masculine voice.

“Ow, Phil.” Dan exagerates his disgusted expression. “Really? A slow one? Ugh, so romantic and cheesy, I'm going to throw up.”

“Just come here. You know you like cheesy music.” Phil doesn't even laugh this time.

Dan walks up until they are close enough that their bodies are almost touching. He raises a hand for Phil to grab, matching left and right, pressing the palms together and intertwining their fingers slowly. He then looks down at his partner, putting the other arm around his waist, waiting for him to place his hand on his shoulder. Few people knew it, but they actually were able to dance quite decently, more so this easy kind. Even though, it takes them a while to loose the stiffness and learn to skip their feet on the floor to the caressing cadence flying through the air.

Phil buries his forehead in Dan's shirt, his eyes staring into the void of his mind, a worried tilt in his brows.

“Do you love me, Dan?”

“Wh-what kind of question is that?” Phil doesn't respond, and Dan realizes this is serious “Of course I love you, Phil.” he says with fondness, close to his ear. “Why?”

“No. Nothing.” a pause.

“You can-”

“No, it's just-. That, lately, you've been, more confident, and getting more attention and- And I'm really proud of you! But I'm- What you said in your video-”

“Which one, the dinof video, the instagram post? Has it upsetted you?”

”No!- I mean, yes. -I mean, it's not like I don't want you to post anything. ...but with this 'putting yourself out there' thing... I fear you're going to forget about me.” his voice breaks the tiniest bit, he gets stiffer than before, and Dan stops moving entirely. “I fear that one day you'll get tired of me, and just-.”

“Phil-”

“I don't know how to live without you.” he sobs, eyes screwed shut.

“Phil.” Dan breaks the embrace and takes Phil's hands firmly in his own. The latter is shamefully hiding his face behind a black fringe, and Dan finds it difficult to meet his eyes “I promise you'll never have to.” Dan squeezes his hands tightly and Phil finally looks up with watery sky blue eyes “Believe me, no matter what, I will never stop loving you. I want to spend my life with you, Phil.”

He speaks and looks at him exactly like he did so many years ago. And Phil does know he speaks the truth.

Dan tilts his head to the side and leans in to kiss him tenderly. He puts Phil's arms around and over his broad shouders, while he holds him close by the waist, and they pick up the rhythm again.

“I'm sorry. I sound so selfish.” Phil says, the tension disolving.

“Don't be. It's okay to have little doubts. But don't ever worry about the audience, they don't know you like I do.” he smiles and bumps their noses. “They could never love you like I do.”

“Sorry I didn't tell you before.”

“Well, we're going to be living together for the rest of our lifes, so better catch up on that.” Dan never failed to make him laugh when it was Phil the one feeling down.

“Alright.” Phil timidly kisses his lips to which Dan responds with a little more passion.

Engaged on each other as they are, the music still playing on the background, Dan decides to go for it. He puts his arms firmly around his boyfriend's torso and slowly starts bending over. Phil has to hold onto his neck to avoid falling, completely taken by surprise, whines in Dan's mouth. What Dan hadn't taken into account is that he doesn't actually know any more about this than what he has seen in movies, so he miscalculated and both of them fall down thumping on the floor.

“Oops! Sorry-”

Phil inmediately bursts out laughing, and does that thing with his tongue _that he should definitely stop doing in every single video because it's driving Dan insane_ , it is so cute.

Dan is giggly too but eventually pulls them both up again “We should go to bed, you look exhausted.”

“I'm not an old man yet.”

“Sure.” he says, going to pick up Phil's phone.

“But now that you're mentioning it, I am a bit tired.”

Dan snickers “You're the worst.”

 

Once in their room, after their nightly routines, Dan walks in to see Phil straightening his shirt in front of the mirror. He approaches from behind and wraps his arms around him, basking in the touch of him.

“You're the best thing in my life.” he says, dropping tickly kisses on his neck and rubbing his face against him until he earns a smile.

“And you're the most important thing in mine.” Phil pulls his face closer to place a kiss on his cheek.

They get in bed and Dan asks “Do you want to be big spoon?”

“Can you hold me tonight?”

“As your majesty pleases.”

And they fell asleep wrapped up together tightly, and happy.


End file.
